Weekend Writing Warriors ~ 3/02/14 Betrayal

Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors! Thought I’d share some more of that same scene from last week–eight more sentences that are…troubling.

Alyse’s betrothed, Sir Geoffrey Longford, has been called away to his father’s home because his brother is ill.  Geoffrey’s friend and Alyse’s champion, Thomas has just arrived with news and handed her a parchment letter.  Alyse reads it with some trepidation as Princess Joanna and the other ladies wait in the next chamber.


In her bedchamber, Princess Joanna waited with Maurya, Anne, and Margaret. The women’s faces had changed from puzzlement to fear. Joanna looked from one maid to another, trying to hide her despondency. So many prayers had not been answered today.

Anne finally summoned the courage to ask, “Your Highness, what has happened?”

A wrenching wail of anguish shattered the hushed room, as though the very walls echoed the sound. The four women stood rooted to the floor at the almost-inhuman shriek of grief.

The sound cut off abruptly, and in the eerie silence that followed, they heard the soft thud of a body hitting the floor.

Yes, I’m being bad this week with that cliffhanger. 🙂   If you want more before next week, Betrayal is available at Amazon on SALE today for .99.

In the mean time, check out the rest of the Warriors here.  There’s some fantastic snippets to be read.


This entry was posted in Betrayal, On Time Enough to Love, Weekend Writing Warriors and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

34 Responses to Weekend Writing Warriors ~ 3/02/14 Betrayal

  1. Omigosh!! Don’t leave me hanging!! Great 8!


  2. Harliqueen says:

    Oh, what a cliff hanger!


  3. Poor thing. But she’s strong. Quite a cliffhanger this week, Jenna.


  4. Gem says:

    “…the soft thud of a body hitting the floor…” Sounds like they had good reason to be anxious. (It’s off to Amazon I go). 🙂


  5. A tense scene and really bad news 😦 Very nicely presented.


  6. Cara Bristol says:

    Love, love, love the way you described the sounds. Excellent.


  7. Cd Brennan says:

    Oooh you got us with this one! Most excellent, Miss Jenna. I do adore your writing style.


  8. Well done! The anguish comes off the page.


  9. High drama, obviously something really dire has happened. I’m on the edge of my seat, needing to find out – well done! Great excerpt…


  10. You did a great job of ratcheting up the tension to the final thud. There’s no way I’d stop reading at this point!
    I’m a first-time participant in Weekend Writing Warriors and I’m really enjoy it.


  11. I read that the end of every chapter should be a cliffhanger big or small to make the reader eager to turn the page. And you are with an outstanding one from another time and place. Just right.


  12. Millie Burns says:

    .99 cents? What a bargain. I think I will go buy one… (if you’ve ever heard Eddie Murphy’s standup tape, from the 80’s I believe, that line should be read in his voice). If not, doesn’t matter. I will gladly part with .99 cents today to read some more…


  13. Daryl Devore says:



  14. sadiecass says:

    Heart wrenching. I wonder just what was in the letter, but I fear the worst.


  15. alexissduran says:

    I love the way you set the scene, and that cliff hanger ending is very effective!


    • Jenna Jaxon says:

      Thank you, Alexis. Although many do not, I love a cliffhanger ending, either at the ending of a book or at the end of a chapter. I like to leave readers wanting more. 🙂


  16. Eleri Stone says:

    Yikes! That can’t be good:(


  17. melissakeir says:

    I’m waiting to hear what happens in the next book. 🙂 I know that things are going to get dicey!


  18. gemmabrocato says:

    Jenna, this is actually next on my list to read. I’m definitely looking forward to reading all of this scene.


  19. I really liked this book, too. I haven’t had time to review it, but you have another 5 star coming for this one, Jenna. 🙂 Good excerpt choice for #8sunday. 🙂


  20. I enjoyed this novel and great cliffhanger. Shared.


  21. Now that’s a cliffhanger! Nice one, Jenna!


  22. Loved this book! Tweeted and shared on FB.


  23. Carrie-Anne says:

    That must be some of the worst news she’s ever received. I hope they’re able to revive her after that faint.


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